Another Project, Another Mishap

No But Really - I'm Kind of a Walking Hazard

So what I'm saying is if I can do all this, anyone can. Or at least can try.

I laugh at myself even in frustration because it's all just mostly ridiculous - and something, and often so very basic, to learn.

Today, for example, I decided on short break from work, to install a smoke detector downstairs. There's one upstairs but hasn't been one downstairs since I moved in in September 2014 - yikes! There's no excuse, I bought a smoke detector and a carbon monoxide alarm way back when - they've been sitting in a box. Shame on me. Glad I'm not dead.

But back to the mishaps.

* Tried three different drill bits until I finally made the correct sized hole for the anchors. Repeated this on the carbon monoxide alarm - you'd think I would have learned.

* "Lightly tap anchor with hammer if needed." Instead, I beat it into submission until it was warped and bent and useless. I had to remove it with needle-nose pliers and try again with a different anchor.

* Accidentally kicked plastic container of screws and anchors, sending them flying all over the living room.

* Stripped screws supplied with the smoke detector by using a drill with screw driver bit a little too enthusiastically. Grabbed other screws but then the smoke detector wouldn't attach properly because I didn't use flat screws - these had some depth to them. Removed them, found some flat screws and replaced them.

Tripping through life and doing everything twice because that's how I roll. 

No matter - smoke detector and carbon monoxide alarm are up and working! Here's the proof:

Almost A Kitchen. Almost There

A Sink for My Birthday

"Either I will find a way, or I will make one." - Philip Sidney

My beautiful stainless steal farmhouse sink has a home now.

For my birthday, friends on vacation gave up their time to build me a kitchen and mount my sink. It's now ready for the plumber and the ridiculous faucet!

Imagine if you will the happiness and joy of cartwheels, confetti and a Phish-show worthy amount of balloons.

This is better.

Brad and Marc managed to divide and conquer a bit - with both working on readying their condo for incoming renters and then splitting up so Marc could work on my kitchen and Brad on theirs.

We had discussed the kitchen project many times over the past many months. Brad and his wife, Karen, and their kids, Faith and Dylan, had been over helping with several smaller projects during the holidays. Marc's wife Lynn so sweetly saved some magazines with great ideas in them  - that sadly I never remembered to get at New Years. I remember the drift wood table idea though and I'm working on it (drift wood photo to come).

My biggest contributions to this epic project were giving Marc a sounding board as he figured out how to create what I wanted and buying plywood - actually Dad bought the plywood for me for my birthday when we went to pick it up in his vehicle. Seriously, about all I can offer are pictures. On the second day, I went upstairs and put laundry away while Marc worked. He said figuring out how to build a structure to mount the sink was mentally taxing and the most difficult part of all of it.

I had the wood for the base of the counter tops - nice cedar that J picked out. He did get a template together that laid the foundation for the rest of the kitchen. And I have a nice miter saw that I actually own with my friend Guy. We each had smaller saws. I put them both on a local yard sale Web site and after selling them we bought a larger miter saw.

The plywood serves as the counter top now and will either stay as a base for permanent tops or become scrap wood. Linda at the local lumber yard came up with a brilliant idea for using the wood for counter tops when they aren't sealed and therefore aren't smooth and can't be cleaned: vinyl tablecloths! That'll work for now until I can decide what kind of wood I want or whether I want to go crazy and use concrete. Struggling with this decision - have to save money for it too.

Marc working out the details for the sink

Smoke-filled room after borrowed circular saw had blade in backward - Karl!

OMG it's a counter top!

Yes!

Yay!

First meal being cooked in the new kitchen - tomato and rice soup. Want the recipe? Just ask. 

Perfect spot for birthday flowers - thank you Brendan

A few days later I also completed that pocket door project I started a few weeks ago. After trying everything to get the stripped screws out and having others try, I gave up and bought the $22 tool kit the nice guy at Ace recommended. I did question him about why the more expensive one was better vs the Ace brand - 3 sizes vs 2.

 

Matchy

Matchy

Every day I am reminded of how blessed I am. I am thankful for friends and family and this beautiful place where I live. I'm sure I don't always show it but I feel it every single day.

It's in that everyday thankfulness, I realize how stupid I was to allow myself to be separated from friends - just by not hanging out with them as much - or in some cases at all - because J had a problem with them. He certainly wanted me to believe that just about every person I was acquainted with was not to be trusted. I know why now - they weren't to be trusted because he wanted me to not have any guidance or warnings - because he wanted to  be able to control me. Because when they came to me with what they saw him doing, I would doubt them, believe they just had it out for him for one reason or another.

As I look back, I still find it hard to believe I let myself be so controlled. I still am having some confidence and trust issues - hard to believe if you know me but it's true.

Getting there - little by little.

Debby reminded us at yoga last night: Give thanks for everyone that has been part of our life's journey. For all the lessons that we learned along the way, some easy, some hard, we are grateful. 

I'm grateful for the people in my life. I'm grateful for the experiences - good and bad because they make me who I am and who I will be.

Rough Seas

Tough Week and Birthday Thoughts

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Last week held some tough moments - lots of them.

Let's just say, the books have been returned to their owner, along with the mail. And there was a DMV visit. (Aside: I wrote on a letter yesterday No Longer Lives Here)

Amazing and supportive friends and family got me through a rough couple of days.

I awoke Wednesday in a full-blown anxiety attack- not sure why. I found myself crying in the car and then sitting in a doctor's office waiting to take a test to see if I could still eat ice cream and I couldn't stop crying (not because of the fear of not being able to each ice cream, though thank goodness I can still!)

Maybe it was the books in my car. Maybe it was my upcoming birthday. Maybe it was the start of a full-blown mid-life crisis - oh won't I be fun if that's the case?

I sent messages to sisters Heather and Summer who were there for me immediately via the wonders of Facebook Messenger. True to form, they rallied and prayed and talked me through it. They told me stories of their anxiety. No judgment or eye rolling - just the best sisters. They are truly my good friends too.

I was never as anxious the rest of the day - I just struggled.

The next day, I bucked up and took matters into my own hands - I think. I sent a text - "let's go to the DMV. I'll be there at 10." I took the books and mail.

I warned friends.

I asked Kate, Jess, Tim, Heather and Summer to send me strength to deal with not only the emotional part but also anything he threw at me concerning a recent blog post or anything else. They did and perhaps I couldn't have handled any tough words so none were said. He brought a mutual friend who I was thrilled to see and it seemed a good buffer.

Feeling a lot better, a lot stronger, a lot more in control of me in this situation than I have before. I hope it sticks.

Still it was a emotionally draining. I went to my happy place on the island - the pier. Reached out to good friends - Kate, Julie visiting from Kentucky, Kristen visiting from Wisconsin and we got together for a drink, a visit, the beach.

Then we had family dinner at Jess and Chris and the cutenesses that are their children - with Kristen and a guest - my guest. Yay!

This week - my birthday week- also is proving to be filled with challenges and emotions.

Luckily I'm surrounded by good people. Strong people. Communicative people. Helpful people - from moving boats to borrowing tools to building kitchens. To listening to me whine, to teaching me to stand on my head and open my heart. To telling me to breath to cheering me on to telling me when I'm too much, to reading my blog. To just being the joyous lovely humans they are.

I hope I'm there for them like they are for me. I'm not the only one struggling these days, not the only one who has a tough day or a tough project or a mentally taxing work day. That's my birthday wish - to make sure I'm here for people like they are here for me.

I have certainly been a pretty needy friend lately.

It takes a village, some say. I believe it - even though I'm often trying to just do it myself. With my village, I can do anything.

The kitchen is next!

Small Projects

Little Efforts Can Make a Huge Difference

I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open - I have actually been that tired since about 8 p.m. But my Kentucky Wildcats were playing basketball and I was determined to do something small in the condo tonight. More than just changing the light bulb in the porch light, which I did last night.

Before the second half of the disappointing away game against LSU, I decided to change out the pocket door latch in the powder room. (It was that or sit and stew and scream while I watched the game. This way, I just listened and threw nothing at the television).

The latch arrived yesterday - one day to project seems pretty good progress to me. I was changing out an old brass latch with paint on it for a new dark bronze one that matches the faucet I installed.

Taking the old latch out was simple - two screws and the 3-piece latch practically fell out.

I pushed the latch onto the existing door cutout and realized it was backward - the lock hammer kept falling - it was upside down. That meant I had to unscrew each plate and switch them around so the hammer could be pulled up to open the door. Easy enough.

Then I batted the new latch into place and the screw holes were just slightly off - close enough that using a drill was all the work needed to put them in place.

There was one piece left I was trying to figure out where it went and what it was when a light bulb turned on over my head as if in a cartoon: the facing lock plate. The old one was painted over - by me no doubt - I hadn't noticed it.

Now there was trouble - the screws were stripped. I tried a few methods - drill, flat head screwdriver, the Force. I'm leaving it until tomorrow when I'm more awake and alert.

At least the main part of the project is complete. I like the look.

And now sleep.

Matches

Baggage

Still  So Much to Shed

I'm still getting some of his mail. I still have boxes of his books. There are still  many connections I need to sever.

I have a plan for the books - I'm going to plastic wrap the boxes and drop them off at his work boat or in his truck when I see it out like I did this morning - parked at a random house where I assume he doesn't have K - she's left once again with a woman he's dating and living with while he stays out all night. I hope this girl loves her like I did and that she's OK. It's none of my business anymore how he parents but I worry about K just the same.

Some friends say I should just donate the books and burn his mail - but that doesn't seem very healing for me - or very nice. Tempting - don't get me wrong - but I won't do that. I don't really think it will make me a better or more whole person.

My name is still on two of his titles - truck and sailboat. I can't take my name off without him being at the DMV with me.

Big baggage.

Turns out, there also are lots of small things left that feel huge.


There was the I.D. I wear on my running shoes that had his name and number on it as an emergency contact. I threw it away along with my worn-out running shoes while I was in Tennessee for Christmas.

On my desk was a silly trinket he made me from a set of green Mardi Gras beads when we first met. Threw it in the trash this morning. But do I keep the similar red one that K made for me and the tiny note she wrote one morning that just reads "Thanks."

I feel ridiculous sometimes - I'm way over him - but being rid of everything and unaffected by the relationship is a tough task. And being reminded how intricately connected we were because of all the baggage - big and small - begs so many questions about why and how and makes me want to close right up.

I'm going to try not to do that.

Making Every Mistake

Hot Water!

Someone commented the other day on my bathtub drain installation saying I could give him pointers as he remodels his new foreclosure condo. I responded that I very much could especially since I had made all the mistakes on every project I have completed. My home-improvement projects are a lot like my life. 

Tonight was no exception.

After work at the marina, I set about adjusting the hot water valve in the recently fixed and update main  bathroom shower. When I first turned it on, it was just lukewarm. This would not do - I'm a woman - I like my showers nearly scalding. It's a known fact.

I asked friend and plumber Chuck what could be done. He said he could come over again and adjust the valve inside the handle. I said "isn't this something I can do?" He said sure but didn't tell me how - to be fair, I was working and busy and neither of us really had time.

Google and YouTube to the rescue - again. 

Mistake No. 1: I didn't watch the entire video, which included my particular model second, before I started taking the handle apart. I took it apart about two steps too many. I figure it's a learning device - I now know what the rest of the insides look like. Ha ha.

This is where I should have stopped - at the valve that needs adjusting

I stopped here

Mistake No. 2: After going back two steps, I put the rotational limitation stop - the black plastic ring - on in the exact opposite position I wanted - so when I tested the water, it was still just lukewarm.
I only had to remove the screw again on the handle and adjust the ring again.  Then success! Hot hot water - I put the handle cover back on and voila!

A 5-minute project that took me 45 minutes. It's par for the course. But I did it and I feel pretty damn good about that.

Time to take shower. 

I'm Ready For You 2016

Getting It Done, Having Fun

2016 already feels like a better year, a new beginning. Looking and moving forward.

My Sunfish is going to get in the water - hopefully this week. I'm going to put it in, bang it up and learn to sail. Then I'll make her pretty.

There's a new plan for the kitchen - just slightly different but just enough to make a huge difference and to make it mine now, not ours.

Friends Brad and Mark are going to build it with me in the next two weeks when they are back in the area visiting.

This is going to happen.

We moved some things around today while all their kids were in my pool - and I used my miter saw - gingerly but I know what it feels like now. Not scared of it anymore.

Bought myself a new tool bag - feeling organized - and let's face it, like a bit of a bad ass for having so many tools I need it -- and they don't all fit!

I started today, the first day of 2016, by going to yoga  - a great way to start the day and the year. Debby talked about leaving everything from 2015 that was hurtful or unhappy behind. I believe I can do that now.

Last sunset of 2015

Rooting. Growing.