Weathering The Storm And Being Thankful

Pictograms, Pumpkin Muffins, Five-Pointed Star

The smell of nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves wafted around me yesterday morning, Thanksgiving, as my from-scratch pumpkin muffins baked and I tore bread to make my mom's sage dressing (stuffing).

Memories kept me company. I thought about my family, all the Thanksgivings together and all that I am thankful for now. I called my dad - he sounded good - and then talked to mom to ask a question about the dressing. I called my sister Chelle and we laughed as if we were standing next to each other. I texted and messaged with the rest of my siblings as they prepared for their own dinners.

It has been an interesting and heart-open kind of week. Heart open - that's what Debby often tells us at yoga. Lead with your heart. Your heart is open. Five-pointed star is one of my favorite poses and it's a pose that feels as open as you can get - giving and receiving love and whatever else the universe is asking for or giving out at that moment. Standing legs apart, arms reaching up to the sky and wide open, fingers spread, heart open to the world. I stopped in the middle of a run the other day and stood in five-pointed star - just because it felt so good.

Thanksgiving Day was spent cooking, going to yoga and helping prepare and serve a meal at the marina for some of the people who live in the condo complex connected to it. After, I spent some time pouring beers and laughing with the friends who stopped in to watch football. Then it was off to the Bothwells for more food, more football and friends who are family.

Another friend who is family is Elana. We met when living in New Jersey and we have had many adventures - hockey, moving, Florida fun. She was in town with her family, and on Friday we tackled my storm door project. How lucky I am to get to see her - sometimes only once a year, but she is always a joy - so is her family. I didn't get enough time with them or Elana this trip but she and I did manage a day together after work.

After an hour or so in the sun at the pool, a trip to the grocery and a rum drink - or two - Elana and I set about hanging my new storm door. I'm not sure whether it was the rum or that the instructions were meant for someone fluent in pictograms but hanging this heavy duty door took significantly longer than the 45 minutes the manufacturer claimed. It also wasn't really an "Oops proof installation" as the instructions said. Or maybe that meant you'll say oops a lot, which we did.

Elana and I were successful despite it all. We got to use my new big-girl drill with the light on it, which was incredibly helpful as it got dark and we were stuck outside because the door was hanging by two screws, which meant we couldn't get inside to turn the light on. Said drill was also the cause of small stab wound on my leg as I ran into it and the drill didn't move. It's just not really a successful project unless I injure myself in some manner right?

I learned a lot and there was no need to pay the condo's maintenance man $250 to install it for me. Perhaps I will offer to install my neighbors' doors at a discounted price. Haha

In the middle of writing this, Jess and Kate picked me up to go hot tubbing and catch up after some days apart - I am thankful for them, for their friendship, for us finding each other. It's tremendous. More friends who are family. We laughed and laughed.

I'm so thankful for family and friends - near and far. They are all supportive and give love in so many ways. It sounds cliche of course, since everyone's Facebook pages read exactly the same. I don't care - I am and I should say it more often. Friends and family are helping me quell the storm and the clouds surrounding my head and heart for many months now.

I can't even list everyone - but if you are reading this, I am thankful for you and for knowing you.

Debby read this on Thanksgiving as about 30 of us gathered on the beach for yoga practice and I agree with my open heart:

I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings
Friends that turned into family
Dreams that turned into reality
And likes that turned into love

Unstoppable

Theme Songs, Running, Friends, Funk, Coffee, Hog Nose Rays

I feel my life has a theme song that changes each day.
Some days, my theme song is obvious, other days I have to choose it and make the day fit because I want or need it to. Today, I went for a run in search of endorphins and chose to listen to a hockey locker room playlist I made in 2012 - an excellent mix if I do say so.

At first, I thought today's theme song was Wall of Voodoo's Mexican Radio:
I wish I was in Tijuana
Eating barbequed iguanaI'd take requests on the telephoneI'm on a wavelength far from homeI feel a hot wind on my shoulderI dial it in from south of the borderhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyCEexG9xjw


Then as I ran on a damn near perfect running day - 65, sunny, humid, slight breeze - I let my mind unwind and the real theme song played in my headphones - Kat Deluna's Unstoppable:
You can talk all you want but my skin is really thickI'm the leader of a crowd and my game is really slickI'm unstoppableUnstoppableUnstoppableUnstoppable


Save your pity for tomorrowWhen I smash it like a ball in the clubOn the news, I'll be rockin' like a rockstarI'm unstoppableUnstoppableUnstoppableUnstoppable
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW40rfp7aoQ


That's more like it or it's more like what I'm going to make it. 

Pre-run selfie. It was 57 here after all

So lucky to have this to run next to

Happy surprise along my run

A visit to the still untouched wooden sailboat

I have definitely been in a funk lately - mystery pain and sickness so I've been to a few doctors and had a few tests that show nothing  but we're still searching. My quality of life dropped off. I hadn't run in over a week and work was suffering - weekday and weekend work. And I have been whiny - ask anyone - yesterday, I was a grumpy monkey for sure.
As Nina Simone sings:
Sun in the sky you know how I feelBreeze driftin' on by you know how I feel.
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me yeah
ouh
And I'm feeling good
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Birds flying high you know how I feel

River running free you know how I feel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5Y11hwjMNs

Some things that help with this idea of a new dawn, a new day include running, yoga, daily texts and sharing between friends - Jess, Kate, Lisa, Tim, Courtney, Dougie, Bev; daily coffee visits to chat with Oscar and get my vat of caffeine; the glorious sunshine; visiting friends Brad, Karen, Lynn and their lovely children, along with Elana - sweet, funny, positive, quirky, smart Elana with her endless energy and her wonderful new family; Jess's mom Erin - kind, thoughtful, insightful and a pistol; new friends; new acquaintances; the idea of house and sailboat projects and getting them done; power tools; flip flops; sunrises; sunsets; daytime moons; and daily surprises such as thousands of hog nose rays showing up at the marina last weekend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LEWFOzJUWg

Cownose Rays at Pelican Pier

Full moon rising

Pine tree pose

Flip flops and basketball season!

Ugly fish in the shrimp tank

Ready to cut through some drywall

A Rough Night

Out of the Mouths of Babes - Let Your Troubles Roll

It's midnight and I'm finally letting myself cry. I thought I was all over this crying nonsense.

Then my friend Chris and Jess's son Max innocently reminded me of how much I miss K. He misses her too - K is a year older than Max and they attend the same school but she no longer had play dates with him.

I had a super productive day at work and at home and was feeling better physically than I had in weeks. I made my bed, unpacked from two trips, did laundry, clean my bathrooms and went to the grocery. I got an estimate on fixing one of my showers and bought or found all the ingredients  to make pumpkin muffins for friends tomorrow night.

Around 7, I went to babysit 8-year-old Max and his younger sister Finley so Chris and Jess could take Jess's mom out to dinner.They are great kids - and I owe Chris and Jess big time. They have helped me pick up my sailboats, picked me up off he floor and let me work at the marina. Just yesterday, Chris picked up a storm door I had ordered that required a 45-minute drive.

The first thing Max said to me was "I got to see" K! I'm not sure Max really understands the relationship I had with K's dad - he asked me tonight if I had a boyfriend. He just knows K isn't around anymore when I visit, and I think he can sense I miss her too. 

Later, Max said "you should have come to the school event, then you could have seen" K. Tears welled up but I fought them off.

And finally, Max decided to make up a game for all of us to play. We pretended we were on a sailboat (K now lives in a sailboat) and that we had radar and were on a mission to find - who else but K. I had to keep it together and play along. But how cute and sweet of Max.

It breaks my heart that Max doesn't get to spend time with his friend and that I can't change it. And it breaks my heart because I miss her terribly.

I know some days will still be tough no matter how many great days in between. K always waives like a mad thing when she goes by the marina on a boat and sees me. 

 I have that at least. And lots of good memories.

I don't think this puts me back to square one,  but it does make me blue.

And again I'm humming "let your troubles roll by."

Successful Projects And Happy Surprises

Small Successes Can Mean Big Steps Forward 

I bought a Dremel rotary tool. 

It's a fairly inexpensive and small piece of powerful awesomeness. 

I bought the Dremel with one project in mind but believing I'll find many other uses for this varied attachment tool. Cutting, sanding, carving, engraving, grinding, sharpening, polishing - doesn't it all sound exciting? 

I only knew this tool existed because J got one for Christmas from his dad last year. He told me we could use it for many projects but the first and foremost was going to be to cut the bolts on the toilet he installed in the master bath. It never happened - my fault too. I could have picked up the Dremel and figured out how to use it and cut the bolts. 

But today was a new day, my friends. 

I bought the Dremel yesterday at Ace, spent 20 minutes figuring out how to attach one of the two cutting discs that came with the tool, and today, I cut the bolts and attached the covers.

A small success that feels huge.

Before tackling the unpacking, room cleaning or anything else tonight, I drove over to see my friend Q while she was bartending and to have a happy, beautiful-night, successful project cocktail and my favorite comfort food - a stacked potato. (Yes, I know I didn't go the whole month without drinking - I should have chosen October before people started visiting - oh well, I know I can, I just chose not to after a week but still much less often and that was my goal anyway).

Q is lovely. She's smart, funny, kind and tells it like it is. She's observant and thoughtful and intuitive. I'm lucky to call her a friend. I met her by just going into the restaurant where she works and chatting with her when I moved to Marco two years ago. Turned out she and my closest friends here - who I met later - are like family. Turned out, she feels like family.  My friend Constantine also was working, along with one of the owners, Peter, and sweet Sara. The restaurant and bar feel homey to me and it's a good place to go - even when I don't want a cocktail.

Many locals feel the same. It's nice that way. Q's best friend and "partner in crime" was there having dinner with her husband and some friends. She too is a lovely woman. She waived and ran over to me the when I sat down to show me the many bracelets she was wearing - inspired by the ones I wear, she said. She made all of her beautiful wired and mostly beaded bracelets - and they are beautiful. She said she'd make me one, and then said, no, I want to give you one of these. She proceeded to look at me and think and try to pick the right one. 

I think the beadless, silver charm was a perfect choice - and what a brilliant surprise. Another small something that feels huge.

Look Who's Still Hanging Around

And So Am I - Still Here, Still Me

Henrietta Hoots

My little burrowing owl friend has stuck around. She prowls about at night but almost everyday since she arrived, she has been outside my living room window. I hadn't seen her in a while because I was away working in Miami for a week and then working sunup to sundown on the weekends and then back to Miami for a couple of days. I worried maybe she had found a mate and started a burrow and moved on.

So when I saw Henrietta today, looking at me with those big eyes, turning her head sideways and paying attention to my movements and words to her, it made me smile, and I thought "Hey, I'm still here too."

I've hung on and I'm here and I'm going to be fine.

Look Forward If You Can

Look forward if you can, I told Tim tonight as he stressed about another home repair issue.

Advice I need to take myself.

It's just I'm struggling to see ahead of me, to dream, to imagine the future.

Is there a soul mate? Are there children?

I feel certain there are adventures and my amazing friends and my loving, supportive family but do I have a family of my own? A person who is a partner and confidant?

Lots of very close but not necessarily in the same circle friends and I have talked about commune living when we get older - I'm down with the idea - how wonderful to have all your dearest darling friends together on one street or one plot of land or even in one gigantic house.

But would that really happen? Would it be when we're 80 and not while I'm alone and growing older?

Perhaps I should just focus on the immediate future - kitchen, bathrooms, decorating what I have, learning to sail, getting out of debt - and not the rest of my life.

The problem is that the rest of my life is very nearly here.

I Need To Know Bill More

It's The People You Meet Along The Way

Bill is a tall, white-haired too thin man. A gentleman from Indiana who stops in at the marina once or twice a day when I work on the weekends. At night, he'll bring his evening glass of vodka with him. I suspect this is his ritual on weekdays too.

Bill is soft spoken but talkative and seems very kind and also more than a bit mischievous. He talks about going to his condo at Fort Myers Beach - it's spring break there all year long after all. He talks about how he has lived a bit of a wild life - after marriage and kids. 

Bill asks me how I am. And says, "more importantly, are you happy today?" I smile and say honestly that yes, I am happy on that day. And then I run off to fuel up a boat and pour Coronas for Mick and Cindy.

About 20 minutes later, I get back over to Bill and I ask, "So Bill, are YOU happy today?"
Bill has a twinkle in his eyes that shines bright even when he tears up telling me he found out Friday that his cancer is back. Bill has fought hard to beat cancer two other times. 

Bill is ready to fight again but says, "it's not fair." Chemo again, this time with a thinner, weaker body, despite his morning Ensure drinks. He almost finished one of Chris's giant burgers last weekend but he is still skin over bones.

"The doctor said I'll lose my hair this time," Bill says. He's proud of his thick white hair that neither age nor cancer has taken. This cancer is stronger and tougher to eradicate.

Bill started chemo today. I've been thinking about him all day. I don't know how old Bill is or whether he's a veteran being celebrated on this Veteran's Day. 

I need to know Bill more. I hope to get that chance. 

Obsessions

Cooking Shows And HGTV Can Be Surprisingly Inspirational

I'm obsessed with cooking and home-improvement shows.

Honestly if I could only have five TV channels HGTV, The Cooking Channel and Food Network would be three of them.

Last night as I sat in my hotel room not feeling well, I watched Chopped - a cooking competition with mystery baskets of ingredients. Surprisingly it was an episode I hadn't seen. The contestants were cooks at soup kitchens and included a Franciscan sister who started The Nun Run in Chicago and a soft-spoken but feisty retired woman who wants to make sure that all the teenagers at the LGBT shelter where she cooks are treated with love and kindness as if they were her own grandchildren.

Lovely and touching and inspiring - how often does that happen on what is essentially a game show?

I almost got sucked into this obsession again tonight. I am not well and mostly have been sleeping when not at work. Sitting in the too comfy bed surrounded by cozy clean white linens, I watched hours of Island Life and Chopped. When I looked out my window I saw this

I should try to run, I told myself for hours. Then I thought, if I put on running clothes, maybe I will go.

The purple striped running a shorts and wireless headphones were my biggest motivators. My most fun shorts. Whatever it takes, I think.

So now I'm out running in the darkness and liveliness that is downtown Miami when it's 81 degrees. - well anytime really. The water is lapping next to me and runners, walkers, dinner goers and dog walkers are all around.

I'm feeling better - even though I'm slow as molasses. Good thing I don't care. Sometimes, most often I find, it's the journey that's important.

I started my run listening to Eminem but now Jimmy Buffett and friends are singing to me via Pandora  - always happy joyful songs.

"Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,
Wanted to sail upon your waters
since I was three feet tall.You've seen it all, you've seen it all."
-Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks At Forty

A little Zack Brown Band - Free.

"So we live in our old van
Travel all across this land
Me and you

We'll end up hand in hand
Somewhere down on the sand
Just me and you

Just as free
Free as we'll ever be"

And finally a little Bob Marley - No woman, No Cry.

"Everything's gonna be alright"

I'm starting to wonder lately if I'm choosing my music or if the universe is. 

And do these joyful tunes and words mean I'm hopeful again about love? Maybe.
I don't know who "you" is but I like the idea. And I do believe again that everything's gonna be alright.

So much so that I actually went out to dinner instead of ordering room service or takeout from the hotel I have barely left for three days.

I'm so glad I did. Delicious meal, friendly waiter who remembered me and a beautiful night to sit out on the restaurant terrace. 

On my way in and out, I enjoyed the bronze sculptures of Fernando Botero - sculptures I first saw two decades ago along the Champs Elysees in Paris just after we had studied the artist in class in Caen.
 

As I walked back to my hotel chatting with Tim of the long-lost friend ilk, the night was warm and calm and very nearly perfect. It felt like hope.

We chatted for an hour as I sat  outside the hotel leaning up against its entrance sign - a silly, cozy spot. 

Heart Healing Breakthrough

Buddha May Have It Right

I realized as I was getting ready for work at 5 this morning that I had awakened several times during the night but had only just then thought of J, K and Largo.


Not forgetting and not regretting but moving forward. A breakthrough, I believe.

Searching for something to help describe or encourage this feeling, an Internet search for Buddah quote on love turned up this first:  No Matter How Hard The Past, You Can Always Begin Again .

And that's where I am. Beginning again with this in mind: There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path.

Thank you Buddha. And Namaste y'all.

The Mean Reds

Ice Cream For Dinner, Catching Up, Letting Go

My friend and favorite bartender Q said to me on Saturday night after she fixed me a virgin cranberry and pineapple juice and took my dinner order, "It's so good to see you eating. And whether you know it or not, you are doing so much better."

I completely agree with her. I'm feeling happier, lighter, more hopeful and less sad.

I had a rough day or two last week - mostly because I was sick and in bed - and had too much time in my head. 

Sometimes I feel like Truman Capote's Holly Golightly in the film adaptation - without the fancy clothes.

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds? 
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues? 
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? 
Paul Varjak: Sure. 
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name! 

Holly is searching for where she fits - not in what city - but where she fits in the world, what her purpose is, how she is useful in the universe, who she is. And she's hiding - hiding from real love. 

My Tiffany's is the beach, getting out on the water to kayak or boat or fish.

View from my favorite pier and weekend job

It's also accomplishing something on my own such as the faucet replacement.

I'm in the middle of creating some more accomplishment opportunities - I just have to find the time.

My sailboats are on Marco now. I own a drill, a drill bit set, a miter saw, a Brad Nailer and a sander.  I have many projects in mind for these tools - first and foremost in my condo. Then my boats (I need jazz hands smiling emoji here).

Be afraid

Current color

Yes?

Now some random thoughts from the past week:

• I'm in my hotel room in Miami and have the loveliest fruit bowl in front of me with my very favorite and the most fun fruits: dragon fruit, pineapple, strawberries, star fruit, kiwi, mango. Seriously - love!

Dreaming of sailing as I look out my hotel window

• Ice cream for dinner - twice in one week.

Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey - I ate around the chocolate chunks and threw them away because I'm a freak and not a big chocolate fan.

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake - just yum. 

• I wake up and find my keys in my front door more often than I would like to admit.
  
  
  
  

• I have the most wonderful friends. I really do.
  

  

  Jess always knows when I could use a fuzzy. Petting Boobs the rabbit.

  
  

  

  Purple polka dot ducky from Jess's son Max

  
  

  

  New friend Nancy visiting from Canada sent me this gem

  
  
• November means college basketball season starts!
  

  

  Go CATS! 

  
  

• And for your listening pleasure provided by a colleague with whom I regularly exchange musical inspirations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KkoYOexplQ&feature=youtube (And I have a crazy crush on Justin Timberlake)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_yCEVmepsQ - for fun! I happen to love the third verse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ognnZ3r2qyQ  - you'll dance and laugh.

Of Lists and Things

Moving Forward?

I used to make fun of my mom and her lists - especially the one she made and kept each year for Thanksgiving cooking. My siblings and I still tease her mercilessly about that list on the manila envelope colored note card - but it's all in jest.

I understand the lists now. I get it.

I need to start making them again. I feel so accomplished with a list. I check things off during the day. I spread tasks out over the week so I don't feel overwhelmed. I make a new list daily, adding anything I didn't get done the day before.

I LOVE to check off items on my to-do lists or grocery lists. Not cross out, mind you. Check off - I feel like it's more positive than crossing out.

Or I used to.  I haven't been motivated to make a list since J, K and Largo left. Lists kind of ruled my life - so many things to do and people to organize and help.

Now, I just spontaneously do task as I have time. And that's OK - I'm not kicking myself. I'm still getting things done. I think getting back to lists will be my next big accomplishment.

I'll do it tomorrow. I wonder if I should write that down?

One Love

Let's Get Together And Feel Alright

I woke up this morning singing Bob Marley's "One Love." 

No idea why - but I'm smiling because of it. I went to bed happy and light so maybe that prompted the wake-up music in my head. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdB-8eLEW8g

Yesterday was good, really good. 

Last night, I felt useful to others, or at least saw the potential for it. I met a group of 8th-grade girls who I think I can can be good for and they for me. 

On Halloween when dressed as Wonder Woman and working at the marina where I spend my weekends, I met Deborah, who pulled up on a boat and started taking pictures of me. As I helped pump gas for her, she asked me a little about myself and asked if I would attend a dinner with her "Wonder Girls" on Monday night in my costume. Deborah works at the local YMCA and helped spearhead the empowerment program for these 8th graders.

The girls were lovely and friendly, polite and hard working. They put the dinner together with a local chef, set up the tables and served everyone. They were delightful to talk to and I hope I get the opportunity to work with them and get to know them. Wonder Girls is designed to help  the girls through this tough age, helping them with friendships, homework, self esteem, along with helping them learn good eating and exercising habits.

Wonder Girls hard at work

Friend Jess and future Wonder Girl Delaney

I told Deborah on Saturday that I have been looking for a way to get involved in the community and I am passionate about helping young girls. It's not easy finding yourself. I'm still working on it. But I do know and have always believed - and been encouraged by my parents this way - I can do anything and there's no telling me I can't do something because I'm a girl. I won't have it. 

I often need to ask for help - there's nothing wrong with that - though sometimes it takes me a while because I'm kind of stubborn and I don't want to be a bother. My latest trials have taught me to ask more. Knowing that you can ask, knowing that you have friends and family are there for you, I believe is an important lesson and perhaps something I can help impart to these girls.

On the wall at Wonder Girls

Darling, don't forget to love yourself.

Wise words.  

Weeding Out the Dead Leaves to Make Room for New Growth

November Might Be The New Renewal Month

I was over at my parents' house last night watering the plants, getting mail and generally checking on things while they are away. |

As I pulled the dead leaves off the plants I'm trying to keep alive for Mom and Dad's return next month, I thought "I need to do this in my life more regularly."  I need to discard the dead leaves to make room for new growth - in my head and in my heart. 

"Take from the past only what you need," as my yoga instructors say. This is an encouragement when moving from Warrior 2 or Virabhadrasana II pose into reclined warrior. I should repeat this line and the movement over and over.

Reclined Warrior

Because of friends and family and some focus on me, I'm feeling stronger and more confident. Possibly strong enough to tackle this idea and mantra starting now - in November. November in previous places I lived was always a time for gray skies, cold rain, falling leaves and darkness. Here on my little island, palm trees are shedding leaves while flowers start to bloom after the hot summer, and the burrowing owls search for mates to start nesting.

Feels like perfect timing for renewal and not throwing away the past but keeping what I need from it and moving on from the things I don't.

The past is going to need some reflection.

I awoke on Nov. 1 - after a wild and fun Halloween - and felt the beginnings of a renewal, revival even, and determination. November is going to be busy - some reflection and grounding will be good.

The snow birds are arriving - quadrupling the population here. I have to be in Miami for 7 days to work in my company's officer there during the busiest time of the quarter. I am determined to get my kitchen finished this month - somehow, some way. I picked up the Sunfish today - I hope she doesn't need a lot of work to get her in the water but I'm going to need some work and some time to learn how to sail her.
In addition to all of this, I am going alcohol free for November - just taking a little break, though I am going to allow myself red wine on Thanksgiving. Living in mini Margaritaville here, it's easy to find yourself with a happy fruity drink in your hand often - with an island of vacationers and we locals just feeling happy and celebratory because of the ever-present sunshine and the beauty surrounding us. 

I will still see my friends and have fun and enjoy paradise, but I really want to focus I want to be useful to others.

My sister Summer, who is incredibly encouraging and thoughtful and writes the loveliest comments on my blog, is wise beyond her years. She wrote this to me recently:

Being useful to someone is a great goal. And super obtainable, I think! You are useful to Mom and Dad when you check on the house. You are useful to your friends when you say encouraging words. You can be useful to strangers by helping someone carry groceries, commenting on a pretty outfit, or even a smile. We all need kindness in this world and it doesn't have to be super big if you are not up for that at the moment. Just keep trying daily and look for those opened doors, and something you are being called to will make itself known. Love you and remember your thoughtfulness and kindness to me is always useful :D

I have the most amazing siblings - smart and thoughtful, sweet and kind.

Onward November! There's growing to be done.

Paradise

Residents Beach

Boat Ride With My Parents

Weekend Job

Vacationing Friends - Some of the Best

Halloween Fun and A Bit of Empowerment Through Costume

Allen and El Jefe - xoxo

Yoga Morning

The Girls of Marco - So Blessed to Have Them

Sisters Heather, Summer, Kyle