The Shortest Post

New Duvet and a Win

Duvet arrived and it's happy and a new start! 

 

And here's a $12 chair I added from the consignment shop behind my house. It's a good, comfy reading chair sitting beneath Afghan art. 

 

And winning? First win - the lawsuit. Now to get repaid will be more difficult. But let's start with that triumph.

Second win - despite not feeling at all comfortable in my skin lately and not feeling well in general, I forced myself to stick to the commitment I made for a charity sports event - stand up paddle board poker run  for the Special Olympics. I did this even though friends I thought were also participating never signed up and made travel plans for the weekend - my fault for not following up after the initial mention and "yes, let's do it" responses. 

I did this despite knowing I would be in a swimsuit all day. I did this despite wondering whether my lungs and gut would cooperate. 

I had trouble at first - and found friends working safety for the event on a boat and got on - transferring the paddle board to their niece for a bit. After some water and some rest in the shade, I climbed  back on the board and l finished the event - mostly seated - but so did a lot of people. 5 miles on a paddle board is a long way and a long day.

I did it AND branched out and made new friends and ran into some lovely people I already knew. It was a good day. 

 

Healthy is a Feeling

(Written Wednesday, May 10, on a hotel notepad while enjoying a beautiful view).

To borrow from my yoga studio's post: Health is not a look; it's a feeling.

After a recent blog post, more than couple of people told me I should stop worrying about how I look and just be happy. For me - the two often are inseparable. When I'm feeling healthy, I can do all the things that make me look healthy inside and out. There's a glow that comes from the inside - from endorphins and joy and feeling right with the world. And there are the physical changes that come from being active.

So what I'm saying is I don't feel well or healthy. I won't repeat the myriad of ailments and symptoms I have previously discussed (whined about). But I will tell you about the hope I have after meeting with the functional medicine doctor I mentioned.

I like her - Dr. T I'll call her. She's my age, talks a mile a minute and seems to know her stuff.

She didn't start our first appointment with "so what's going on? Why are you here?" Instead, she had read and studied the questionnaire that took an hour and a half to complete. She had come up with a hypothesis about my health but had a few blanks to fill and some blood work to check (that's on hold until I return from a work trip).

Dr. T also took recent tests and studied those instead of making me repeat them - no need to add to the health-care bill - thank goodness!

After writing down the long list of meds I take each day - for asthma, for allergies, for SIBO - and perusing some nutrient levels, Dr. T. said: well no wonder you are complaining of weight gain!" She said the drug cocktail alone could cause me to pack on pounds but deficiencies in vitamins A, D, B12, B6, iron and protein have sent my body into panic mode - holding on to everything it can. Fight or Flight and my body is fighting.

But why? More to be determined there but basically my body likely isn't absorbing the nutrients I give it. Determining if it can absorb any at all is the next step when I return from Miami.

Meantime, Dr. T has me doing a few things to help me feel better: She wants me to wean off of the acide reflux medicine - you have to wean off these things or your body freaks out and over produces acid. It's miserable - I know firsthand how hard it is to get off the purple pill. A tablespoon of apple cider vinegar - Bragg's only - before I eat a meal will help to level out the acid and ensure that only good acid is being produced. Also licorice tablets in between meals instead of Xantac or  Tums if there are issues.

Cod liver oil is another addition with Vitamin A, D and some omega-3 fatty acids. This one is tough if only mentally. The name! But just once a day (admittedly I never got around to it yesterday - I was focused on a bad tummy) and lemon flavored. It just feels weird going down (yes, Victoria, Ty, Duane, Tiff - I KNOW what you are thinking!)

After Dr. T determines how deep the SIBO goes - as in can I absorb any nutrients or do we need to fix the leak first and then add in supplements - she wants to put me on vitamins B12, B6, Iron and pre- and probiotics.

I'm hopeful - a lot more so than I have been in at least a year. I'm also pretty annoyed at doctors who ignored or didn't see low-iron, protein and vitamin levels. Looks like my iron has been low for at leat a year. Seriously - I could have been feeling better?! Well, maybe not if I couldn't absorb anything then - but still! I actually found out my iron was low - despite feeling not so hot and this explains my fatigue - because I tried to give blood 3 times in the past 6 months but each time was turned away for low iron.

So I hope to get my life back - and I hope that on a day I spent an hour in the ladies room at work yesterday morning and then slept for hours after work - hardly able to open my eyes - like I had a flu - you know that feeling right? I had planned to go for a run and to a museum. I haven't made plans with two dear friends who live in Miami for fear I'll have to cancel.

I'm not asking to run marathons again - though I would like to - I'm just asking for most of my life back - not necessarily the extreme parts.

I made it upstairs and outside to write this and enjoy the view, a glass of wine and free hotel hour snacks (i.e. dinner). But then had to head back to bed. Around 8, I put my shoes on and went for a walk - determined not to let the day totally beat me.

B said today, "I give you a lot of credit for keeping up with the exercise with all this."

I told him it makes me a more decent human. :)

Free Hugs with your cocktail. I feel like that could happen anywhere - but I like it.

My blog in my chicken scratch - my view while writing

Interesting on my walk

No words

Anticipation

Eating Pizza for Breakfast and Other Disasters

Breakfast

The aftermath - giardiniera spill

So this was my morning - pizza good - my sister Heather appreciates my breakfast choices. And my Chicago friends will appreciate that I put the yummy pickled vegetable treat that is giardiniera on said pizza. 
This shortly after B and I both remembered I wasn't supposed to drink anything last night before this afternoon's functional medicine doctor appointment. Two glasses of wine with dinner and my appointment is at 3. Should be fine right?

I'm slightly anxious about today's appointment. I spent hours this week filling out my health, life, lifestyle, home-life history for this doctor I hope can help me. Everything from whether I had chicken pox (I did) to whether I have carpet in my home (I do- upstairs and I hate it.)

The doctor wants to know what I hope to get out of a relationship with her. That's quite a question. I'm hoping to get my life back. I guess that's quite an answer.

Today is an interview of sorts I guess - what do I think of her? Do I think she can help me connect the dots? And I guess she will be answering the same.

B was listing off symptoms for me last night - trying to remind me so I remember to mention everything: weight gain (highest figure ever - last and only time doctors determined a medication I was taking was causing the unstoppable increase on the scale); feet and leg edema, swelling; gray feet (thanks for the reminder Bev); cramping; constipation; abdominal pain; headaches; increased asthma exacerbations; fatigue; memory loss; foggy brain,; irritability; depression; etc.

I almost want to take him with me. I'm lucky we found each other. I hope he feels the same. I think so. :)

Yesterday evening, B and I took a walk on our lovely beach. Discussing his work projects, my doctor appointment, friends, trips this summer, my blog posts, this weekend (Kentucky Derby!), my work trip to Miami, a trip we hope to take to The Keys.

Sounds nice, doesn't it? It was.

Until Tomorrow (or maybe late today)

 

Obsessions

Cooking Shows And HGTV Can Be Surprisingly Inspirational

I'm obsessed with cooking and home-improvement shows.

Honestly if I could only have five TV channels HGTV, The Cooking Channel and Food Network would be three of them.

Last night as I sat in my hotel room not feeling well, I watched Chopped - a cooking competition with mystery baskets of ingredients. Surprisingly it was an episode I hadn't seen. The contestants were cooks at soup kitchens and included a Franciscan sister who started The Nun Run in Chicago and a soft-spoken but feisty retired woman who wants to make sure that all the teenagers at the LGBT shelter where she cooks are treated with love and kindness as if they were her own grandchildren.

Lovely and touching and inspiring - how often does that happen on what is essentially a game show?

I almost got sucked into this obsession again tonight. I am not well and mostly have been sleeping when not at work. Sitting in the too comfy bed surrounded by cozy clean white linens, I watched hours of Island Life and Chopped. When I looked out my window I saw this

I should try to run, I told myself for hours. Then I thought, if I put on running clothes, maybe I will go.

The purple striped running a shorts and wireless headphones were my biggest motivators. My most fun shorts. Whatever it takes, I think.

So now I'm out running in the darkness and liveliness that is downtown Miami when it's 81 degrees. - well anytime really. The water is lapping next to me and runners, walkers, dinner goers and dog walkers are all around.

I'm feeling better - even though I'm slow as molasses. Good thing I don't care. Sometimes, most often I find, it's the journey that's important.

I started my run listening to Eminem but now Jimmy Buffett and friends are singing to me via Pandora  - always happy joyful songs.

"Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,
Wanted to sail upon your waters
since I was three feet tall.You've seen it all, you've seen it all."
-Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks At Forty

A little Zack Brown Band - Free.

"So we live in our old van
Travel all across this land
Me and you

We'll end up hand in hand
Somewhere down on the sand
Just me and you

Just as free
Free as we'll ever be"

And finally a little Bob Marley - No woman, No Cry.

"Everything's gonna be alright"

I'm starting to wonder lately if I'm choosing my music or if the universe is. 

And do these joyful tunes and words mean I'm hopeful again about love? Maybe.
I don't know who "you" is but I like the idea. And I do believe again that everything's gonna be alright.

So much so that I actually went out to dinner instead of ordering room service or takeout from the hotel I have barely left for three days.

I'm so glad I did. Delicious meal, friendly waiter who remembered me and a beautiful night to sit out on the restaurant terrace. 

On my way in and out, I enjoyed the bronze sculptures of Fernando Botero - sculptures I first saw two decades ago along the Champs Elysees in Paris just after we had studied the artist in class in Caen.
 

As I walked back to my hotel chatting with Tim of the long-lost friend ilk, the night was warm and calm and very nearly perfect. It felt like hope.

We chatted for an hour as I sat  outside the hotel leaning up against its entrance sign - a silly, cozy spot.