Look forward if you can, I told Tim tonight as he stressed about another home repair issue.
Advice I need to take myself.
It's just I'm struggling to see ahead of me, to dream, to imagine the future.
Is there a soul mate? Are there children?
I feel certain there are adventures and my amazing friends and my loving, supportive family but do I have a family of my own? A person who is a partner and confidant?
Lots of very close but not necessarily in the same circle friends and I have talked about commune living when we get older - I'm down with the idea - how wonderful to have all your dearest darling friends together on one street or one plot of land or even in one gigantic house.
But would that really happen? Would it be when we're 80 and not while I'm alone and growing older?
Perhaps I should just focus on the immediate future - kitchen, bathrooms, decorating what I have, learning to sail, getting out of debt - and not the rest of my life.
The problem is that the rest of my life is very nearly here.
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