Rough Seas

Tough Week and Birthday Thoughts

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Last week held some tough moments - lots of them.

Let's just say, the books have been returned to their owner, along with the mail. And there was a DMV visit. (Aside: I wrote on a letter yesterday No Longer Lives Here)

Amazing and supportive friends and family got me through a rough couple of days.

I awoke Wednesday in a full-blown anxiety attack- not sure why. I found myself crying in the car and then sitting in a doctor's office waiting to take a test to see if I could still eat ice cream and I couldn't stop crying (not because of the fear of not being able to each ice cream, though thank goodness I can still!)

Maybe it was the books in my car. Maybe it was my upcoming birthday. Maybe it was the start of a full-blown mid-life crisis - oh won't I be fun if that's the case?

I sent messages to sisters Heather and Summer who were there for me immediately via the wonders of Facebook Messenger. True to form, they rallied and prayed and talked me through it. They told me stories of their anxiety. No judgment or eye rolling - just the best sisters. They are truly my good friends too.

I was never as anxious the rest of the day - I just struggled.

The next day, I bucked up and took matters into my own hands - I think. I sent a text - "let's go to the DMV. I'll be there at 10." I took the books and mail.

I warned friends.

I asked Kate, Jess, Tim, Heather and Summer to send me strength to deal with not only the emotional part but also anything he threw at me concerning a recent blog post or anything else. They did and perhaps I couldn't have handled any tough words so none were said. He brought a mutual friend who I was thrilled to see and it seemed a good buffer.

Feeling a lot better, a lot stronger, a lot more in control of me in this situation than I have before. I hope it sticks.

Still it was a emotionally draining. I went to my happy place on the island - the pier. Reached out to good friends - Kate, Julie visiting from Kentucky, Kristen visiting from Wisconsin and we got together for a drink, a visit, the beach.

Then we had family dinner at Jess and Chris and the cutenesses that are their children - with Kristen and a guest - my guest. Yay!

This week - my birthday week- also is proving to be filled with challenges and emotions.

Luckily I'm surrounded by good people. Strong people. Communicative people. Helpful people - from moving boats to borrowing tools to building kitchens. To listening to me whine, to teaching me to stand on my head and open my heart. To telling me to breath to cheering me on to telling me when I'm too much, to reading my blog. To just being the joyous lovely humans they are.

I hope I'm there for them like they are for me. I'm not the only one struggling these days, not the only one who has a tough day or a tough project or a mentally taxing work day. That's my birthday wish - to make sure I'm here for people like they are here for me.

I have certainly been a pretty needy friend lately.

It takes a village, some say. I believe it - even though I'm often trying to just do it myself. With my village, I can do anything.

The kitchen is next!