Living
(Written while on a Delta flight over Tennessee on a Christmas Eve in airports and on airplanes)
The forward movement side of the grief chart my therapist gave me in August had a path that led toward Living, Healing and New Beginnings.
I took some healthy letting-go steps toward those paths recently.
1. A few weeks ago, I took off the wooden bracelet J had given me when we first started dating. Then I went on a date - that basically lasted 6 days - well with work in between. We just hung out 6 days Ina row. My heart felt free to do that.
2. I finally admitted to myself that J is not going to let me see K - he is just dangling the possibility at me and telling me she says she misses me while making excuse after excuse not to let me see her - to keep me hanging on. To keep me from burning or giving away his books and a few other items he still has at my place. With that acknowledgment, I realized that if I never see J again, I'm ok with that. In fact, I would prefer it. I wish he would leave my island.
3. This morning, I threw away the Road I.D. I wear on my running shoes in case I pass out or get hit by a car while out running that included J's contact information. I ordered a new one while sitting in the Knoxville airport. The new one has my dad and my friend Kate's info as my people.
So Merry Christmas from an airport and let's get to 2016 please.
The forward movement side of the grief chart my therapist gave me in August had a path that led toward Living, Healing and New Beginnings.
I took some healthy letting-go steps toward those paths recently.
1. A few weeks ago, I took off the wooden bracelet J had given me when we first started dating. Then I went on a date - that basically lasted 6 days - well with work in between. We just hung out 6 days Ina row. My heart felt free to do that.
2. I finally admitted to myself that J is not going to let me see K - he is just dangling the possibility at me and telling me she says she misses me while making excuse after excuse not to let me see her - to keep me hanging on. To keep me from burning or giving away his books and a few other items he still has at my place. With that acknowledgment, I realized that if I never see J again, I'm ok with that. In fact, I would prefer it. I wish he would leave my island.
3. This morning, I threw away the Road I.D. I wear on my running shoes in case I pass out or get hit by a car while out running that included J's contact information. I ordered a new one while sitting in the Knoxville airport. The new one has my dad and my friend Kate's info as my people.
So Merry Christmas from an airport and let's get to 2016 please.
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